Bandwagon.

This is a tag along to yesterday's post, so if you didn't like what I had to say yesterday then maybe it's time to mosey on out of here for the night.

Another thing that makes me scream out in my car and listen to music that pokes at those emotions is when people turn out to be completely different than who I thought they were. I often enjoy giving people the benefit of the doubt and I look for the best in people. When that is shot down, spat upon, kicked on, and ruined...it makes me sad.

I am not often optimistic, but I like to believe that people are inherently good. That makes me like them more, and then I am more drawn to that person if I subconsciously believe that the person I am getting to know isn't the root of all evil. Now, it is my fault when my illusion and positive image of this person is changed by who they actually are. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised when I am proven wrong but...it still hurts. Especially when the person's behavior proves your ideas at first and then they figuratively punch you in the face with reality.

Today, I am sad. Today, I was disappointed. Today, I came back to reality and realized that people may be good and nice but they aren't always who you think they are. This doesn't mean they aren't kind and good, but you just may have to re-evaluate the rest of them and your thoughts about who they are.

I still believe people are inherently good, and that they try to do things to be good. Some people, at least. Yes, I'm sad that I was...disillusioned. But that doesn't make the people who disillusioned me bad people, I just have to alter my view of them.

Yes, I'm irritated. Yes, I'm sad. Yes, I'm disappointed. Yes, I'm more confused than ever. BUT.
This is about me. I mean, people's behavior influence how I view them but this ultimately is a problem of me thinking someone was different than who they really are before they could even stop me. Which happens more often than you'd think.

Ultimately, this is about me. Unfortunately, I am the one pissing myself off today. Well...half of it is me. Maybe 3/4's. The other fourth is some other people, but that is life. I must learn to roll with the punches and move past this. I can do that because I'm a big girl that can handle her problems (that's what I tell myself at least).

I don't think I have ever been more steadfast in prayer more than the past month.
God, be my lamp because I have no idea where I'm going or what I am doing.