Safely Endangered, a web comic that you can read here! 

I mean, new ones usually take their place. This comic harks back to something I said years ago about people being in your life for seasons. Some seasons are much longer than others, some are shorter...at least in this metaphor that is how seasons work. Friends don't always disappear, but they sometimes do. It's a part of life, and just because they are gone now does not mean that they can't reappear again some time in the future. 

I find something about this photo funny. The orange block comes down and fills in the Tetris spot, causing all of the "friends" to disappear. It it vaguely reminiscent of murder, don't you think? I mean, suddenly this block is hanging out with his buddies when this jerk shows up to "make them disappear"? What is he, a mobster? I would also refer you to the first panel. Look how horrified the blue piece in the left corner is. He knows what is coming for him. He knows this is the end. No one believed him when he told them this would happen, but here we are! 

And poof! Dead. 

I've gotten off track from the intention of this post...I have a bad habit of doing that. 

The point of the silly (and slightly morbid comic) harks back to the time of transition I am currently in. I am at a cross roads of where my life will go, with the probability of me moving back to California imminent. Nine days before my lease is up, which is a very short amount of time left in a place I consider home. It means it is the ending of my chapter in London. It means friends I hold near and dear will be scattered across the world, which makes getting together rather difficult.

I have to remind myself that friendships, and all relationships, take work. You put in work with the hope that the other people will put in work. Mutual commitment to keeping the relationship alive is the goal. I have made friends in my time here that will put in the work, which is really lovely. I also know some people may disappear, not out of malice but just because life gets busy and hectic. I also know there are people that I will probably never have an interaction with again, and despite how sad that is...well, it'll be okay too. 

I am still in a really stable mind about this whole change, though I expect a crying fest soon. I've continued on with the farewells, which never get easier, and am realizing that some of the most important ones are coming up. I feel the tears welling up right now, actually, as the thought of not being a commute away from some people settles in. 

No one tells you about how hard friendships can be. I remember as a kid wishing I had more friends, more people who liked me, more people who wanted to be around me. But no one tells you that friendships are hard. I have already told you that they take work, but it's more than that. I liken it to sharing your meal, which is a funny choice for me since I am horrible at sharing food. That's another story for another time...

When you share your plate of food, eventually you are only left with your portion. If you're lucky, your friends will also share their food with you so you don't go hungry. Friendships take from you and the healthy ones give to you as well. This two way path means that parts of you, your love, your kindness, your anger, your stuff goes to another person and you receive from them parts of their stuff. An exchange happens and it is this that makes saying goodbye/farewell/etc so difficult because, if you have a good friendship, part of you is kept by that person. 

Do you get what I am saying? I don't know how well I articulated that. Either way, the take away from today is that I have lots of people who I treasure and will be sad about leaving. I am also aware that it will take work for us to stay friends, and I am happy to put in the work. I am also aware that, due to life being the way it is, some people may not be around as much as I would like or need. A difficult time is ahead, where relationships will be tested and tried to see their durability. I would be lying if I said it wasn't scary or anxiety inducing.

But, as George Michael says, "You gotta have faith!"