Attitude of Gratitude in the Season of Giving

grat·i·tude  

/ˈgratəˌt(y)o͞od/

Noun The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Synonyms gratefulness - thankfulness - thanks - appreciation

Sometimes I'm ungrateful. I'm human, so it happens. But there are times where I will feel like I am owed something more, like I deserve better. I usually snap out of it pretty quick because my dad did not raise me that way and usually that only comes out around him. I just get so absorbed in me and believing I am the center of the universe. When I think about how I can get, I'm pretty ashamed. No one likes anyone who is ungrateful for their life and the blessings they have.

If you read my last post, I briefly mentioned that I was in a car accident caused by a drunk driver and that God really was the reason that situation didn't end with a funeral. A lot of people don't know all the details of my accident because I don't like to make a big deal out of it because:

1. I'm not dead.
2. I'm not terribly wounded.

At least, on the outside.

You see, when I got into that accident I had made a split second decision that ultimately saved my life and potentially two other lives. If I hadn't switched lanes to avoid the much thicker part of the pole, my tiny low to the ground car would have rolled. Physics was not on my side and my car would have rolled right on top of the totaled drunk driver's car. This means both myself and the two idiots in the other car could cease to exist.

Every once in awhile I think about how I decided to move over into the other lane right before the impact and how lucky I was that I collided with the smaller part of the huge lamp post instead of the other thicker part. (Except when my injuries flare up, then I usually just get grumpy) I think:
"How in the world did I calmly handle this situation when I have so many anxiety issues? How did I do that and call 911 without having a panic attack? How did I do that while I couldn't breath?"

The only answer I have come up with is that God had my back. And front, and sides. He put his hand on me and guided me through one of the most traumatic events of my life. There was a lot less I in that situation and a lot more Him. On my left wrist, I have a tattoo. If you didn't know that...well, surprise! In the tattoo, it has the verse Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future."

I was clothed that night by God.

Back to being grateful....since my accident, I've been having a rough time. I'm still trying to find my place here after being in England for four months and the accident really kicked up a lot of issues for me, on top of some family stuff that's been going on with my grandparents.

Yesterday my dad came up to me after my grandpa decided for Christmas he'd pay for the damage done to my car so that I can drive my car. He reminded me that I am so blessed and lucky to have the love and gifts that my grandparents give me because it wasn't always this way.

I really got to thinking about how TRULY BLESSED I am.

I have friends who love me and are there for me when I need them. Especially with coming back to San Diego and after my accident, they were on it like white on rice. I am so thankful for them. Having that rock there to support you when things get tough is good because then you know that they will comfort you after you fall and will help you back up.

I have a loving family. Every family has issues, granted, but when it gets down to it...my family has supported me so much. They made sure I could go to England, that I have everything I need, that I am provided for and encouraged, but most importantly....they love me.

I'm alive. It may seem silly to you if you think my accident wasn't that bad, but it could have been MUCH worse had I not made that split second decision and if God hadn't kept me the calmest I've ever been. God has this super cool plan for me; I know this because there have been quite a few near death experiences and I am alive to prove that it is not quite my time. In this, I have to remember to live my life gratefully because I have SO many blessings in my life. I mean, HELLO. I studied in London for four months. 

TALK ABOUT BEING BLESSED! AMIRIGHT!?

I just hope that I can keep up this attitude of gratitude because feeling entitled and acting bratty is not cute and people generally don't like it. I especially feel like this was placed on my heart considering the season we are in. Christmas has really become a consumerist holiday. A holiday about me, me, me, me. "What am I going to get?" "I want this. I want that. Gimme gimme gimme."

I know not everyone thinks of Christmas that way, and that's good. I'm not bashing gifts either. Gifts rock. Just remember that you are wealthier than most people in the world and if you didn't get the new iPod touch or iPhone or whatever it is because your -insert product here- is outdated or lame...maybe you should rethink throwing a tantrum about it and be happy that you can celebrate this holiday.

I wish we were a society of gratefulness instead of selfishness. I wish that was valued more than possessions. I know this post won't magically change the world, I just hope that it resonates with someone because these are things that have truly been on my mind.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm grateful for you, my friends, my family, my cat, my home, the fact that we have food, and most of all, my life. I hope you have a most wonderful holiday season and that you try can see the blessings in your life. I know that I'm not perfect and am not always grateful, but it's kinda been my mission to make sure that I do that. I wish it didn't take a traumatic event for me to realize it, but it's time to just live in gratitude instead of entitlement.